volition

I drive so much these days. I think I am making up for the six years of license eligibility, and I am doing it swimmingly. I have put almost 20,000 new miles on Corinna the Chevy Cobalt, whom I've had for just seven months. This type of constant traveling can give one a false sense of security, of bravado. In the past two weeks I have made three turkey and cheese sandwiches while I was driving (I'm talking deli meat turkey, pepper jack cheese). Slowly but surely,I think I was beginning to believe that I could summon the strength to go 75 miles per hour, with or without a car.

As I drove along this line of thinking, along the Athens outer loop, I heard the screeching tires and I saw the car directly in front of me hopping in between the two lanes. After dancing for a bit, the car made a beeline for the right side median and front-ended the concrete with a sickening crunch. As it came to rest in the opposite direction of traffic, I realized that I was looking at the crash through my rearview mirror. I cannot fathom how I passed by the out-of-control car with nary a scratch, but I did.

My tally of near-death experiences is steadily increasing. My confidence in my abilities is decreasing. The knobs of circumstance have become too slippery and unwieldy for my childish hands. To say I am grateful for God's control would make it sound as though I weighed the options and decided this was the best idea. As the options of luck, serendipity, coincidence, and willpower dissolve into smoke and mirrors, I am confronted with the Truth, and his firm, gentle guiding hand on my life.

I'm so thankful that I'm incapable of doing any good on my own. ~Caedmon's Call

the right question

God, how can I bless you?

send

How does one pray for the nations when they see themselves as a lost cause? So many prayers lack zeal or even belief because the redemption of the world, the won battle for this earth is a foreign concept to our small scale. Jesus' beckoning for his lost sheep consistently includes those who found him, but may have closed their eyes for a spell. May our hope for the world be fruit of our own experience with salvation.

Send revival...start with me.

holding hands in june, too (HHIJ II)

My peeps! Here is the Summer 2011 soundtrack.

This year is considerably different from last year. Not in artists (there are quite a few repeats), but in tone. I think this year is a little more somber than the bounciness of last year. A wise twin sister made the analogy that last year was more for a summer afternoon, whereas this year is more for a summer evening.

Other features of HHIJ II:
--Much fewer Brits on here....but two songs featuring Swedes!
--Three artists named Ben (four songs feat. Bens)
--Four Youtube stars (two songs feat. them)
--Two songs that feature whistling
--More profanity/suggestive themes (sorry)
--A lot of love songs
--My favorite song of all time


Song list (in preferred order):
Wild Young Hearts--Noisettes
Sleeping In--The Postal Service
Sunrise--Norah Jones
High of 75--Relient K
When Did You Fall--Chris Rice
No Sunlight--Death Cab for Cutie
Home--Jorge & Alexa Narvaez
Folding Chair--Regina Spektor
Here Comes the Sun--The Beatles
Daydreamin'--Lupe Fiasco feat. Jill Scott
Gatekeeper--Feist
Call Me When You Get This--Corinne Bailey Rae
Young Folks--Peter, Bjorn & John
Stop This Train--John Mayer
Jesusland--Ben Folds
Rhythm of Love--Joseph Vincent and Clara C
A Change is Gonna Come--Ben Sollee
Your Arms Around Me--Jens Lekman
Daylight--Matt & Kim
You and I--Ingrid Michaelson
The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts--Sufjan Stevens
Do You Remember--Jack Johnson

They should all play just fine.

A lot of the songs on here were introduced to me by my friends, so if you see a song that you contributed, thanks :) I really enjoyed making this, and I hope you enjoy listening. Happy Summer!

leaking

Sometimes when I think about you, all I sense is an ocean wave behind a door...a loud crashing earthquake, a rushing, violent wind that is uncontrollable, unstoppable.

I think about this and I get scared. I think about you wanting to meet with me and I freak out. So I keep the door closed.

I am afraid of you and your love. It is dangerous and untamed, and it seeps into every area of my life. My lack of control scares me, so I refrain from meeting with you. I avoid talking to you because it reminds me of my helplessness.

Sorry. I'm even helpless in this situation.