where

Here I am in Athens, GA, 88.5 miles away from my house, the farthest distance that I have ever set up shop from my family. I can't say that I am eaten up with remorse from my decision to leave home, but it is also the first week. It's so surreal to me that I have made a committment to be here for a year and a half, even crazier that I'm thinking about extending that time to work on a PhD. Nothing is permanent nor set in stone, and considering that I only decided to start UGA in the fall 3 weeks ago, I know that anything could happen between now and then. Still, I find myself getting restless here. Although it's a new adventure, new place, etc., I still see myself getting bored. So I am now asking myself, what do I want?

I want to go "away", but I'm here. I want to serve, but I am lazy. I'm starting to think that there's not one place where I can go that my laziness doesn't cosign on my lease. I don't know what I want, but I am starting to understand that wanderlust is not godly...God is Godly. I can desire to go to Athens, Timbuktu, or Kalamazoo for God, but this desire is still in need of redemption. So what, then, is my "mission"? I know it's happening now, but am I missing it? Is it over the 15.4 inch screen of my laptop and across the room? Is it in the study lounge with me?

I have felt so anti-social, but I know feeling "social" is not what I want, either. I guess I want to be open and put in places where I am being used. But at the same time, I have to see the value of character building while I'm here, achieving the mission in my own life. IE, studying without accountability, sleeping at a decent hour, reducing my Hulu hours. I guess I could start my internet reduction by ending this post.


But not before I say calllll meeeeeee