midnight oil

I finished two papers last night.
Two.
No, I have not slept in my bed in two nights.
Yes, there was one class casualty (twas my first! And hopefully my last).
Yes, my room looks like someone was playing hopscotch with a jackhammer.
Yes, in some senses, I brought it upon myself.
But I finished.
And I don't feel any more tired than I usually do.
I waited for you, Lord....yet your strength found me first.


I'm not who I was. God is changing me. This is a truth that I never remember without a struggle, but it's such a core concept. Whenever I slip into old thought processes, old sneaky habits that even my closest sisters don't know all about....my conscience and my rationale both heave a collective sigh. They sit around and wait for me to have my fun. I feel their low expectations and I cringe and cower. I am embarrassed by my weaknesses, like a 5-year-old who just can't figure out how to tie their shoes.

But...I am better. I have grown. The concept of our bad habits playing out like a recursive loop is a lie from Satan...but as Claudia said when we were discussing this, Satan is not very creative. God is hugging and molding every curve and crack in me, carving me into his likeness....and I know He likes what He sees. I know this because I see Him doing the same thing in my friends, and it is truly breathtaking.

I'm going to clean my room now, do some work, maybe watch a movie. Maybe I'll postpone the middle objective till the morning (no Friday classes, teehee).
I feel stronger now, maybe I won't two hours from now. Honestly, who needs shoelaces, anyway? Barefoot is the only way to dance with my Father.

runs in the fam

My aunt's a G...a local celebrity...
...in Nebraska.
(just kidding, Auntie Wandi)

Check out her thoughts on interracial marriage.